My Scattered Heart

As I awoke this morning to the light blue glow of a new day starting, I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling. I had just had a great sleep in a comfy bed inside a nice warm house and although my heart was content, it was not satisfied. My mind started to drift and it followed the path of my heart. It took me over to South Africa where I had left a big piece of my heart back in December. I started to think of the kids, the staff, my friends, and my family in South Africa. I wondered what the weather was like and what each of them were doing. I wondered if my mind would meet with theirs and if we would be thinking of each other at the same time. I wondered if they knew that each one of them holds a piece of my heart?

I think over to Australia, the home of my best friend and sister in Christ, Jo. I wonder how she is? If she is OK? How her back is feeling today and what she is up to? Does she know (even though I don't show it well enough) that she means the world to me? That I thank God for her everyday? I am so bless to have her!

Then my mind headed up to Holland, Belgium, Austria, Norway, Denmark, Finland, and it stopped in Sweden. I thought of all the babies that I had once called my own. I wondered how big they all were now and if they were happy. Had things worked out? Had they bonded with their families. My heart was so happy that they had been blessed with a forever family but at the same time so broken, not being able to see them. Did they know that they too held a piece of my heart? When my mind stopped it Sweden it was no surprise. Spending less than a week there last June, it was enough for me to know that it would always be a part of me and what defines me. Sweden is a beautiful country and much like Canada but what draws me and keeps me there are the people. The children I once called my own and the forever families that adopted me along with their child. The relationships I have built and the love I have received. There are many families in other countries too that have adopted and loved me and I hope one day to visit all of them. There is just something so special about visiting a country and meeting the people and witnessing every day life. I feel included, a part of life in the country and as my mind starts to head back to my life currently being lived in Canada, I wonder once more: Does each family know that they hold a piece of my heart? Do you they know that I pray for them? That I miss them? That I love them? That I am so thankful for them? If not, how do I show them?

I had no Idea that when I gave God my heart that He would slowly break of piece by piece and scatter it all over the world. Some may think it is sad, not to have a whole heart but that is where you are wrong. Each time He has given a piece of my heart away, he has filled it with a piece of theirs!